All Seeing Eyes
by hiraikoneko
Summary: There are Eyes everywhere. Always watching. So many Eyes that we can't possibly look through them all in one fic...so I've thrown them into a collection of oneshots. Here we'll find both canon and non-canon oneshots based on my fic Demon Eyes.
1. Something Like a Photography Club?

**_Hello Lovelies~! I have so many tiny ideas for DE that there's no way I can fit all of them into the main fic...so here we are, with my own little oneshot collection...of course, there's only one so far...but yeaah?_**

 _ **So, as it's said in the summary, some of these are canon, some are not. I'll PROBABLY say if they are canon or not in the AN, but sometimes I'll leave ya guessing because it's fun. I will also still be posting BIG things like Death's Eyes separately from this...this is just shorter little things (I'm gonna try not to barf out 10 000 word oneshots in this collection? Let's see how long**_ **that** _ **lasts...)**_

 ** _ANYWAYS! T_** ** _his one is probably canon. Most likely? I can see it happening._**

 ** _And I totally blame_ kylC _for this after that one review for chapter 15. All your fault XP_**

 **DISCLAIMER: I only own my OCs.**

* * *

Machiko and Shigeru sat in Shigeru's bedroom, hunched over a pile of photographs that were lovingly arranged. It was several hours after the meeting had been held downstairs, and Gram had finished telling the tale of the _Loved Child and the Greedy Stand Owner,_ a favourite story that nearly all the Loved Ones had memorized.

"I managed to take this one last month," Shigeru said, tapping one of the photos, "but it took a while to get it developed, so it wasn't ready for the last meeting."

Bright blue eyes regarded the image trapped upon the paper. It was of the Loved Child training with her relative. Or rather, it was a photo taken of the break the Loved Child and her relative had taken during their daily training session.

The man sat on his favourite boulder on the training ground, reading from a thick, hardcover novel. Behind him, the Loved Child leaned over his shoulder, a look of concentration on her face as she read the pages. It was afternoon, and the orange light of the sun hit their hair in just the right way that they seemed to become more like fire than hair. The marking on the Loved Child's face was on full display, revealing to all the power inside her veins- if they knew what the marking meant.

Dirt and scrapes marred the lightly tanned skin of the Loved Child's face, and little locks of her hair was plastered to her temples. A testament to the hard work she'd put into her training that day.

What was most perfect about the image, to the pair of acolytes, was the way both the Loved Child's and her relative's lips were quirked up ever-so-slightly. Matching expressions of reluctant amusement- either due to something in the book they were reading, or at the position the Loved Child had chosen to read from.

Machiko cooed happily at the image, remarking on the 'cute look on Aisako-sama's face'.

Some part of Shigeru was slightly envious of how close Machiko was to the Loved Child. He understood that it wasn't his place to be so close to her- not unless she sought him out- but he wished the Loved Child had taken him under her wing, as he had Machiko.

Surely the Loved Child had room for another close disciple in her life? Just one more?

"Machiko has an even better picture! Machiko thinks Shigeru-kun will like this one quite a bit. Aisako-sama is very cute."

And she was completely correct. Shigeru couldn't stop staring at the image. The Loved Child was painting. A massive canvas was propped up against a rough stone wall, and is was covered in splashes of red and light brown paint on a navy blue backdrop sprinkled with white pinpricks-

The Loved Child was painting an abstract interpretation of the night of the Betrayal?

She looked quite proud of it. The clothing she wore- an old t-shirt Shigeru knew she wore as sleepwear from time to time and a pair of black shorts- were stained in more colours than that which was seen on the canvas. The wild red hair she usually let run wild was pulled back in a little bun on the back of her head, with stray locks bursting free. Her face was stained with little droplets of white, tan and blue, like the paint had flicked back on her. Curiously, the Loved Child's hands were completely coated in a thick layer of blood red paint, as though she had 'washed' her hands in it.

Her blood red hands were held up and to the side as she presented the canvas to the photographer, a proud smile splitting her paint stained visage. Her smile was so large that her beautiful orange orbs were barely viable amidst smiling cheeks and crinkled eyelids.

Shigeru admittedly felt rather privileged to see the image. It was not often that Loved Ones got to witness the Loved Child's artistic works. Loved Ones were meant to love the Loved Child from a distance, and so rarely got to see such a personal thing. The Loved Child was rather shy when it came to demonstrating her artworks-

It was something he could easily understand. The way the Sheep looked upon the Loved Child- as a Wolf rather than a goddess- they would likely fail to see the beauty in her every action, let alone her art. They'd probably insult it and hate it, simply for it being created by her hand.

"Sora-sama keeps it in his other office. Maybe Sora-sama will let you come see it someday."

Shigeru let out a dreamy sigh, "To lay eyes on the art of the Loved Child is to lay eyes on the perfection of the Child's very soul…"

Machiko giggled and nodded.

The duo returned to viewing photos, cheerfully presenting their newest additions to their frightfully large collection. Images of the Loved Child sleeping. Images of her reading and eating simultaneously. Images of the Loved Child with the Mother and the Father. Images of the Loved Child play fighting with the Brother. Images of her training. Her Hunting Grin. Her staring unseeingly into the distance.

Everything the Loved Child did, they bore witness to, and captured it.

And they traded it, so both could cherish the captured moment.

"Machiko will give you the one of Aisako-sama trying to reach the top shelf in the library, if you give Machiko the one of Aisako-sama with the scorpion."

"No way! The image of the Loved Child carelessly playing with human mortality is worth waaaay more than Aisako-sama suffering from her vertically challenged plight…I'll trade the scorpion pic for one of her training with her amber though…"

Machiko huffed, "Machiko had to be very sneaky to get those! Aisako-sama would kill Machiko for not staying away after Aisako-sama told Machiko that Aisako-sama's training was too dangerous for Machiko to be near…"

"Well I'm quite attached to the scorpion picture…" Shigeru checked for sand under his nails, knowing that Machiko would eventually give in and take the trade.

Blue eyes narrowed as Machiko desperately tried to think of a way she could keep the images of Aisako-sama's amber. Finally, she blurted the first offer she could think of that would please both parties.

"Machiko will trade the rattlesnake for the scorpion!"

Shigeru blinked.

That was…

That was a very, very good trade.

"Deal." He held out his hand and the pair shook on the trade, "Now…next deal…I want one of her watering the cactus on her windowsill."

The boy was well aware this would be a hard trade to accomplish. Machiko guarded images of the Loved Child tending to her plants quite fiercely. He knew that Machiko wanted no one to see them, but could not bring herself to destroy something that held the Loved Child's image.

But Shigeru had a secret weapon. He was sure to win.

Machiko's expression morphed into one of distaste, "Machiko wishes she could kill that thing."

Olive green eyes stared at her in obvious horror, "W-What? Why? Have you not seen the way she so tenderly gazes at the orange blooms it presents to her? How she faithfully waters it when it needs it and even goes as far as to clean the pot it sits inside, so that everything about the cactus is as perfect as she?"

"That weed was a gift from the Unholy Worm. Anything it touched is tainted and should be destroyed, or cast out into the Wastes." The little girl hissed, "It hurts her to look at the thing…just another reminder of the Demon and its Betrayal."

"But the Loved Child has many fond memories of her time with the Demon- even if they are painful. They are still valuable moments in her time as a mortal in this world. She should be free to remember what she wants."

"Machiko is not saying that Aisako-sama should forget…only that remembering is not as pleasant as the memories would suggest."

"Please, Machiko-chan…please let me have just one image of it? One picture of her caring for a gift given by one she considered her closest friend, years after the friendship withered?"

The little girl tilted her head, "And what would Shigeru-kun have that would make Machiko part with such a picture?"

Opening the album he kept the most important of his photos, Shigeru pulled out an image he had never shown Machiko before.

It was one of Machiko and the Loved Child, when they were both younger…seven and eight, if he remembered correctly. He had been nine at the time, so it seemed accurate…

It had been after a long training session. Shigeru had watched the Loved Child and the Maiden train for many, many hours until finally, the Maiden had collapsed from exhaustion. Before she could fall to the ground, the Loved Child caught her younger companion and settled on the ground with her, resting in the shadows of a rock formation.

The Loved Child had rested the Maiden's head upon her lap, and had played with the blond strands of Machiko's hair as the Maiden slept.

Even at nine years old, Shigeru had identified the tender, almost maternal smile upon the Loved Child's face, and knew he had to capture the tender moment…even if it was one he was sure he was never meant to see.

Machiko looked down at the photo he was offering in exchange, and could think of only one word in response.

"Shit."

She really wanted that photo.

* * *

Machiko eventually had to leave, and Shigeru was left behind to reorganize his collection. On his bedside table, framed with care and taking center stage, was the image he'd wanted so badly.

He knew that every morning, when he woke up, the first thing he'd lay eyes on was the Loved Child's warm amber eyes staring tenderly down at a cactus she'd cared for for years now.

Wasn't it funny, that the Demon would gift her something so like herself? Like the cactus, Aisako-sama was coated in sharp needles and barbed spines, promising danger for anyone who tried to harm her…but she was also just as beautiful as the flowers the cactus continued to produce for her year after year.

Shigeru did not like the Demon. But he knew that at one time, the Demon had cared for Aisako-sama just as much as Shigeru did. If the Demon hadn't hurt the Loved Child's heart and physical form, Shigeru would have even considered the Demon a rival in earning the Loved Child's affections…but the Demon hurt her, and lost the right to pursue her. There was a chance he could earn it back…but as it stood, Shigeru was quite sure he had the best chance.

Of course, all this talk of rivalries and gaining the Loved Child's affections were only based on the hope that the Loved Child would actually bother to find romantic interest in lowly mortals such as himself.

"Shigeru, you had better be getting ready for bed!" His mother called out, suddenly ripping him from his thoughts. "You have to wake up early, remember?"

"Hai!"

He might be twelve years old, but there was no way he was about to break the bedtime law. Nope. He wanted to be alive when he was old enough to propose to the Loved Child, thank you very much.

As he settled onto the bed and tucked himself in, he looked up at the photo on his nightstand. From where he laid, it was impossible to see the cactus in the image, so it looked as though Aisako-sama was looking down at him with warm orange eyes, full of care.

He fell asleep feeling warm and fuzzy inside; his lips twitching up into a goofy smile.

* * *

"Ren-chan, Rina-chan!" Shigeru called, waving to the pair of girls from across the street.

The deadpan duo stopped walking and stared at him blankly as he practically _skipped_ up to them.

"Ren-chan, Rina-chan! So happy I caught up to you!"

"Shigeru-san." The girls greeted in unison. Ren continued speaking, "What is it you needed?"

"I know it's still a little while 'til the next meeting, but I was wondering if you have any more-"

Rina reached behind herself and slipped a hand into a concealed pocket sewn into the back of the tan vest she wore, "We aren't sure why you want these…but we have ten here."

Ren gave a predatory grin so similar to the Loved Child's it sent a shiver down his spine, "So if you've brought the correct amount for payment, we'd be happy to complete our little…transaction a week or so early."

As Shigeru took out the necessary amount of money, Rina pulled out ten photos in perfect condition.

The items were exchanged, and Shigeru rapidly flipped through the images, squealing excitedly at the pure perfection that they held.

Ren and Rina exchange wary glances as they count and split the money.

 _Should we have done this? I mean…we don't even know why he wanted pictures of her…_

 **It's not like they were inappropriate or anything. It's literally just Aisako-san being Aisako-san.**

 _He's awfully excited to see her just being her…_

 **No more than the rest of the Loved Ones would be.**

 _True._

 **Do you think if we asked Aisako-san to pose for us, we could charge more? Or just get a massive stockpile of them so we don't have to hide behind buildings and sneak into her house full of jounin relatives?**

 _Maybe if we share a portion of the profit…_

As the duo had their silent conversation, Shigeru wandered off, too busy flipping through the photos to remember to be courteous to his fellow Loved Ones.

There was a photo of Aisako-sama cooking! With an apron! She was also wearing some sort of gas mask as she stirred a pot of something that was probably poisonous, so you couldn't see her face- but that just added to the charm. Aisako-sama was equal parts drop-dead gorgeous, so-cute-you-could-die, and straight up dangerous.

He could not wait to show these to Machiko-chan! She'd be so jealous when she found out he had suppliers!


	2. Flashbacks of the Test Drive

_**Back again with another oneshot~ This one is definitely not as lighthearted as the previous one, but it's DEFINITELY CANON.**_

 _ **I've really wanted to expand more on Ai's first life, but it never really fits in with the main fic? Anyways, this was a possible Special chapter, but it never seemed to get much popularity on the poll...I just really wanted to write it anyways...so we just have a shorter version of what the Special could have been.**_

 ** _Anyways. Heads up, Angst ahead...some violence. Mentions of mental illness?_**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Naruto._**

* * *

I was five when we moved to my house from the old one. I couldn't remember what the old one was like…just that there was a big maple tree in the yard, and that the house was cold and drafty.

Our new house was on a pretty quiet street. It was two floors with a tiny attic space on top. A cheerful rusty-red with white trim, and a white wrap-around porch, complete with wicker rocking chairs and a swinging bench. There was an old oak in the front yard, so wide around it'd take three people to wrap their arms around it. The massive tree leaned over our home, the branches that would have hung over the power-lines and street having been chopped off years ago. It made the tree look like a wave about to swallow our house.

Most of the neighbours kept to themselves, but the people a few houses down had a boy my age. My mom hoped I could make a friend who lived nearby, so she introduced herself to his mom, and before I knew it, I was forced into a play date.

I was an awkward kid. I didn't get along with many people, even back then, and I was scared that if I did like this kid, he'd hate me.

When we were introduced, I clung to my mom, using her leg as a meatshield, rather than stepping out and bravely introducing myself.

Luckily, he wasn't nearly as shy as I was. With a bright smile, he marched right up to me, held out his hand and introduced himself. I reluctantly shook his hand and gave my own name.

Before I knew it, I had a best friend.

* * *

"Hey, Monster." He greeted, tossing me a bag of salt-water taffy.

"Beast." I said in return, before eagerly tearing into the bag to get at the candy. He knew me so well.

When we were eight, we started giving each other nicknames. We were best friends, and we wanted names that only we could call each other. We found them on Halloween. We had unknowingly both gone dressed as generic monsters (masks that were all teeth and angry red eyes, dressed in brightly coloured synthetic fur, spikes, horns, claws and demon tails) and the other kids mocked us, saying we were 'matchies'. We shot them down, explaining on the fly that I was a Monster, and he was a Beast, and they were idiots for thinking they were somehow the same thing.

If there was one way to make people back off, it was by making them question their own intelligence.

Somehow, the names stuck.

I loved being a Monster. It made me feel dangerous.

People picked on me. I was scared and awkward around people. I hated them. They were always judging me, and acting like I was a freak, just because I wasn't obsessed with dolls and being pretty like all the other girls.

Sometimes I wished I was a monster. Then they'd never make fun of me. They'd be too scared to. I would rather they feared me than hurt me.

* * *

We were ten when we realized that there was something….wrong with me.

I'd always had a bit of a temper, but there were times when I'd just...snap, and people would get hurt. It was usually me that got hurt. I didn't want to hurt the people I cared for, so when I felt one of my 'fits' coming, I'd get as far away from them as I could, and if I did have a fit, I'd hurt myself.

It was little things...a charlie horse or two, a bad bite to the arm, or the skin scratched away until I bled.

If the minor self-harm wasn't enough, we found that even when I wasn't furious at something...I wasn't good at making decisions. I'd get in trouble. Lots of it.

Eventually, my parents said enough was enough, and off to the doctor I went. I came home with a brand new bottle of pills, meant to be taken every day. And I did. I took the pills, and I got a lot better.

I was happy. Of course, when the other kids found out I was on meds, they made fun of me, as kids are prone to do. If there's anything different about you they'll find out and they'll use it against you. Anything to hurt your feelings.

So even though I was happy I eventually began to hate my pills. I just wanted to be normal...but I wasn't. There was something wrong with me. The Beast did a good job making sure I felt good about myself most of the time. But sometimes he wasn't there. He'd be on vacation or sick one day and I'd be at school alone. The other kids would say such terrible things and I'd be tempted to not take my pills anymore. Sometimes I thought I didn't really need them

I was 12 when I finally decided that I didn't need them anymore. The Beast's family was on a 'quick trip to Mexico' (whatever that was) and he'd been gone for almost a week. Towards the end of the school week, I didn't take my meds and... It was a horrible, horrible mistake.

But I had learnt my lesson.

* * *

"It's called _Naruto_. There's this village filled with ninjas! Ninjas! And they've got this stuff called chakra- which is sort of an actual thing that people believe in and they meditate and stuff- But anyways! So there's this kid named Naruto, and he's a total Main Character-"

"Loud and kind of stupid?"

"Got it in one, my bro! Anyways, he's the dead last in his class at ninja school, because he can't do this thing called a clone jutsu- oh right. Chakra. They've got super powers and-"

"Okay, okay. I'll take a look…you don't normally get this excited."

"Sorry, it's just…I'm really into the part I'm at. There's this one guy, Gaara and he's so-"

"Hot? Are you crushing?"

"No- Well I mean yes. He's a red head. Yum-"

"I really don't need to hear about my sister gushing over boys. Stop it."

"-But he's also really violent and kinda crazy, so it's a little scary…but I'm kinda wavering at this awkward point between 'huggle the sad boi' and 'get the hell out of dodge'…you know?"

"Noot really…but sure thing, Boss!"

"Halloween's been over for like…3 months. Drop the mafia thing."

"But Boss, we've been calling eachother Monster and Beast since we were eight. It's been five years since then-"

"Yeah, but I like being a Monster."

"You don't like being a Boss?"

"Not if you aren't my equal, stupid."

"Boss, you're hurting my feelings."

* * *

The Beast and I were both really nervous about high school. We were hoping the local high school would have some sort of anime club or -I don't know some underground nerd squad or whatever they're called because we were…kind of…hardcore weebs…?

There hadn't exactly been a lot of nerdy people at our elementary school, but since there were like 3 other feeder schools, we thought maybe there are others like us?

We were excited in that sense, but we were also nervous as heck because...there were _three other feeder schools_ and that meant there were three other schools worth of bullies. Not that the Beast had to worry about bullies. If he weren't a brother to me I could happily admit that the Beast was...a _beast..._ and a hot one at that. But he was my brother so I didn't really think of him that way. He was athletic and attractive. What did he have to worry about?

Me on the other hand? Oh goodness. Um...wellllll... I was sort of...fat. Not too too fat, but there was definitely chub. And I was pale as a ghost, had really bad acne, wore glasses, was socially awkward, watched anime in my free time and needed meds otherwise I went insane.

Slap a target on my back, why don't you.

The night before the first day of school the Beast slept over at my place. When my parents had both fallen asleep, we sat up in my room and made a promise. We promised that no matter what, we would stay friends. There was no force on this planet that can separate the Beast and the Monster.

And for a while? He kept that promise. But it turns out there was a force that could tear us apart. That Force?

It's called a blonde with big boobs.

* * *

Without the Beast there to distract me, I threw myself into my school work. My marks went up from 70s to upper 90s. The teachers were all impressed. Some of them even said I was a genius-

I had nearly cried at that. I was no genius…I just had enough spare time to work on assignments until they were _perfect_. I wasn't smart…just…determined. A Hufflepuff, not a Ravenclaw, thank you very much.

I'm not sure when exactly I stopped taking the meds again…I just…

Without the Beast at my side, I was open to attack…and the Sheep around me knew that. I walked alone down the halls and the kids I'd gone to elementary school with began to pick at old wounds I had nearly forgotten about. They called me crazy, ugly and fat. They pushed and pushed, waiting for me to break.

And sure enough, before long…I just wanted to be normal again. And somehow…somehow…my mind thought that by not taking the pills anymore, it would make me normal again.

It wasn't like there was anyone around to slap some sense into me either.

My parents hadn't been the type to hover…they didn't even notice anything was wrong.

* * *

I met Tom in English class. As one of the losers, I was naturally forced to group with other losers during group assignments. The Sheep were too stupid to think that 'hey, she might not be the best at conversation, but she'd get my mark above the 60s'.

Fucking morons.

Tom was…he wasn't stupid. He was…lazy. Laid back to an extreme degree. Where I was _slightly_ obsessed with doing my best, Tom just couldn't muster up the will to do fuck all.

I was jealous.

He was nice though. He noticed I was…not okay. No one had done that in a long, long time. He noticed, and he sort of…took me under his wing?

We weren't friends. Not really. It was more…safety in numbers.

See, Tom was lazy, and he didn't have the best reputation. In a small town, reputation was…

Tom's family didn't go to church. Tom's parents didn't even work. They just collected their monthly welfare check and left it at that. Tom's father was an alcoholic, and his mother was…elusive. No one was really sure what she looked like, but people claimed to have spotted a woman who _must have been her._ Like she was some sort of local cryptid. Their lawn was dead all year round and they had three trucks in their driveway that hadn't moved in years. Each in a different state of decay. The farmland their house stood on had been fallow for decades, and the treeline had encroached into a small forest.

And the Sheep, being the Sheep that they were…they decided before they even met Tom that he was no good.

There might have been a time when Tom tried, but that had long since passed by the time I met him. It's funny how people become what you want them to be. The Sheep didn't want Tom to be different from his family any more than they wanted me to be normal.

So the kids at school tried to pick on Tom…and Tom…

Tom had a temper.

People got hurt when they tried to fuck with Tom.

He taught me how to throw a punch like it was no one's business.

Of course, Tom didn't want to have to punch his way through the masses to get to class, so he had his own little collection of people to hang out with. It was one thing to pick a fight with one person…it was another to pick a fight with seven.

* * *

"Hey Crazy! I didn't know you actually went anywhere other than school!" A guy I vaguely remembered from elementary school called out.

I knew he was talking about me…even if I hadn't, the way the other three people in the dingy corner store looked over at me would have told me so. I wasn't even in my hometown and they knew who he was talking about. Great.

Plucking the bag of potato chips I had been planning to but from the shelf, I made my way to the register to buy them along with a box of cookies.

The guy didn't seem to like me ignoring him, because he followed me out of the store still shooting his mouth off.

"I'm not a voice in your head you nutter, so don't ignore me!"

I locked eyes with Tom, who was waiting for me in the beat up car we'd driven into the next town over from home. He wasn't actually old enough to drive- neither was I for that matter…but he was still a year older than me (having been held back a year since he failed the year before), and looked older than he was on top of that. No one questioned him. He said he'd been able to drive since he was like…ten.

Which I could sorta believe. His parents weren't the type to keep a close eye on their kids, and Tom's older brother was the sort of guy who'd teach a kid six years younger than him how to drive.

Tom nodded, and I walked past the car like it wasn't even there. The guy, god I couldn't remember who the fuck he was…we'll call him Len- continued to follow me as I rounded the side of the corner store.

It was too open to be called an alley, but the space where we stood was placed between the corner store and the nearest house. To my delight, there were no windows on either the store or the house that faced the 'alley'. There was also a large dumpster that blocked out the view someone passing by one end of the 'alley' would have...meaning you could only really see into the 'alley' from one side. And considering how dead the town was today...No one would see.

'Len' was taller than me, but he was sort of on the skinny side of things. My shoulders were broader than his, and I knew I'd have the element of surprise. People still expected me to be the Monster- they expected the old me. The one who was always hiding behind her friend, and too scared to make eye contact.

But…I was different now. Right? I didn't have a Beast to hide behind…and I had nothing to be scared of. They should be scared of me. Fuck with me and I'll fuck with your face!

Entering the 'alley', I spun on my heel to face 'Len'. He looked around us in confusion, like he didn't understand why I had stopped 'running'.

Maybe he was confused. Poor Sheep.

"It's about time you-"

"Will you pleeeeeaaaasssseee just shut yer trap already?" I asked, cutting him off.

"Wha-"

"Alright then." I sighed, quickly closing the space between us.

Like I said. 'Len' was taller than me by quite a bit, but not so tall that my fist had any trouble getting to his face.

And when all was said and done, and 'Len' looked rather panda-like with his two black eyes, I walked out of the little alleyway and hopped into the car with Tom. Concerned grey eyes flickered over me, like he was checking for any obvious injuries. I was relatively new to fighting after all- not like Tom who had been busting faces his entire life, what with his older brother being an ass half the time.

"Any trouble?"

There wouldn't be any after this. I knew guys like 'Len'. He was big and he was 'macho'…and he would die before he admitted I had been the one to pummel him. He'd spin a tale about some big scary guy with anger issues. But…I doubted 'Len' would be so eager to speak to me again.

I looked down at me hand and frowned at the cut I found on one of my knuckles, "Hurt my hand on his face…but otherwise just fine."

A lazy smile, "Happens to the best of us."

* * *

I was silent when I cried. I'd learnt how to do it years ago. Sobs and silent screams tore through my body as I rubbed my leaking eyes. I didn't even know why i was crying- my face just started leaking and before I knew it I was-

Blinking through the tears, I glanced at the moon. It was full and bright, hanging in a clear black sky. A small scattering of stars were visible through the light pollution…but the moon more than made up for it. I could see every detail of my backyard. I could see the young trees my parents had planted when we first moved, and the little flowerbeds my mother tried to grow, despite her lack of green thumb. I could see the broken birdbath resting against the back fence, and the metal rim we used for camp fires in the back yard. Not far from the rim sat what was left of our woodpile. Summer was nearly over and school would be starting up again soon. The moon lit up the world like it was day.

I told myself I was only crying because of the moon. It was a natural thing- women were like werewolves after all. Full moons and…lady problems…tended to coincide, so of course I was crying. I was probably about to get hit with my monthly.

Nothing was wrong.

Just hormones.

Right?

* * *

It was cold out, but Tom and the others didn't want to head inside just yet. They wanted to finish their smokes before we went back inside. I didn't want to go in there alone…so I patiently waited, leaning against the brick wall we were hiding behind.

Across the street, we could see the other teens slowly making their ways beck to the school as lunch came to an end. They traveled in their own little groups, happily chatting away without a care- like they were good people who were allowed to be happy with themselves.

A particular group caught my eye, like they always did. Really, it was just two people in the group. Him and her. His head was tossed back and he was laughing with _their_ friends- people I recognized as those who had made both of our lives miserable. Danny, a boy who had nearly cracked my brother's skull open in fifth grade, Luke who had ripped up more of our school work during third grade than I had managed to hand in, Ella who had chopped off a massive section of my hair in seventh. Even Isaac was there- and Isaac had knocked out three of Beast's teeth the summer before ninth grade. And the Beast was acting like none of these people had ever wronged him.

Like every time I saw him, pain shot through me. My chest ached and my eyes burnt. Seeing him made me want to curl up into a ball and die.

An elbow dug lightly into my side, tearing my attention away from my once-friend and to Tom. Grey eyes bored into mine as he held out an unlit cigarette.

"Give it a try…might as well if you're gonna stand out here with us."

He was right. I might as well. Time to move on, right?

* * *

I tilted my head back and blew out a perfect smoke ring. I smirked as I caught the impressed expressions on the faces of the others. They'd all been trying for months to get it. The ring blew away as the breeze picked up, much to our disappointment.

As I let the butt drop from my fingers to stomp it out, my eyes locked with the Beast's from across the street. He stood by himself, for the first time in months. For once the Blonde Bitch wasn't there, clinging to him like the leach she was.

He had the gall to look surprised, like it was the first time he'd noticed me standing there with the other 'burn outs'. Maybe it was. It was about damn time. How long…?

How long had I been coming to the Pit with Tom? A year? Two?

Meh. Didn't matter.

I stomped on the smoke with a little more force than needed, twisting my foot to grind it into the pavement. When I was sure it was good and dead, I swooped down and picked up the butt, along with the butts the others had dropped. No need to litter.

As I made my way to the garbage can, I could feel eyes fixed on my back. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see the look of disappointment on his face. Not disappointed that I didn't some over with a smile and act like we were besties again…

It was like the fucker thought he had a right to judge me for smoking.

Like he was some sort of disappointed parent or something.

* * *

I was 17 when they got me that car. I can't really remember what the model ( _what kind of mother was I?!_ ) was but I know it was beautiful. Leather seats and a shining coat of red paint. She was probably worth way more than any middle-class parent should pay for their kid's first car.

Everyone was jealous when I showed up in that beauty- after I got my license of course. I remember Tom outright begged for me to drive him to school. I refused of course because no one but me was riding in her. That car was my fucking baby.

* * *

The sun was shining, birds were singing and the sound of children laughing as they made their way towards school could be heard through my window.

 _I should get up._

 _What's the point?_

 _But…school…_

 _It's not like anyone will miss me if I don't show up. Just go back to sleep._

 _I have assignments due-_

 _Oh. Riiiiight. Have to prove I'm just fine and dandy without the Beast, right? I don't need him because there are As on my report card, right? When's the last time I actually handed in something?_

That made me blink, _Huh. Yeah. It's been a…while. I don't think I've handed in anything since the start of the semester._

 _What's the point then? It isn't like this one project is going to save my grade. Might as well just go back to bed._

I didn't feel like going to school that day.

So I didn't.

* * *

Tom's 'buddy', Jessie, leaned a shoulder against the wall beside me. His arms were crossed over his chest and he leaned down slightly when he spoke to me. I had to awkwardly tilt my head back just so I could see his face when he spoke to me.

He probably thought he looked attractive. The guy was always trying to look cool around me, like somehow the light would hit his greasy hair in just the right way and I'd suddenly fall hopelessly in love with his sorry ass.

The fuck did he think this was? A shojo manga?

"So…I heard a little rumour that you used to be called Monster?"

My nose crinkled in distaste. It had been a long time since I'd been called that.

"What with that cute little face?"

"Ugh," I pushed away from the wall, "Don't fucking call me that again."

"What? Don't call you cute?"

"That either."

I was hopeful that someday, Jessie would get the message. I wasn't interested. I didn't want him. I didn't want anyone. I wasn't… No one caught my eye.

It wasn't even about them catching my eye though. It was about…

Feelings. As gross as feelings are.

I wasn't about to- what did he even want from me? He didn't want a girlfriend, Jessie just wasn't like that- he probably wanted sex…which really wasn't happening. Ever.

I've never even kissed someone before.

Listen. People have cooties. I'm not about to get cooties from just some random person, you know? If I'm gonna kiss someone, hold hands, hug and do…other things with them…it's gonna be someone special. Someone I trust.

And the fact of the matter?

I don't trust anyone.

* * *

My parents realized I wasn't taking the meds any more. Or maybe they'd noticed my lack of attendance to school. Or my dropping grades.

Maybe they found the booze. Or the pot in my room.

Whatever it was…I was in trouble.

Mom had sent a rather cryptic text informing me we needed to have a 'little chat'…which was never a good thing.

Of course, this was just another thing to add to the long list of why today sucked:

First: Tom's parents had kicked him out this morning, so he was going to be moving in with his cousin two towns over.

Second: I was officially failing all my classes.

Third: The counselor called me to her office…in person…so everyone in my class knew she was talking to me. Dumb hag.

Fourth: There was a tear in the bottom of my bag…all my shit ended up spread across the hallway.

Fifth: Someone keyed Baby.

There were more reasons. Some of them hadn't even been exclusive to that particular day…they were more…persistent things. Things I couldn't seem to shake no matter how much I tried.

And I tried so hard. So, so hard.

But what was I going to do? Tom was leaving, so the little pack I'd joined was going to fall apart- none of us were particularly attached to each other…we just hung out together because of Tom.

I was going to be alone again, I was having bad luck, school was being a pain and someone hurt my Baby.

Oh. And you know. It was a struggle to drag myself out of bed every day, and I cried myself to sleep most nights if I wasn't…self-medicating.

There was no helping it though. I would have to go home now and listen to my parents scream at me for one reason or another.

Dropping my backpack into the backseat, I slipped into the car and made myself comfortable, trying not to be too pissed about the scratch that went along the entire length of my Baby. There was no way I could get that fixed.

Despite the battle scar she now carried, my Baby purred to life, ready to take to the streets.

I was one of the last students leaving the parking lot, so I didn't have to be too-too careful on my way out. The second I was clear of the curb I stepped on the gas, cackling at the way Baby shot forward. It was my favourite part of the day.

Houses and stores blurred past as Baby picked up speed. We tore around corners and sped through yellow lights. I wasn't too worried about getting pulled over…there were only two cops in the area, and Timmies was on the other side of town.

Eventually I began to slow down a few blocks from home. The last thing I wanted was for Mom and Dad to take away Baby as well.

After reaching an acceptable speed, I turned the corner.

My eyes locked onto an all-too-familiar couple, making their way down the street. They held hands and she smiled so sweetly at him.

And I just…

There was this overwhelming need to scream.

It wasn't fair. Why was it that he was so happy? He was neither failing nor obsessed with getting his schoolwork done. He knew where he was going after high school. He was in love and happy. He had friends and no one picked on him. He was good looking and _normal_. He didn't need meds to keep himself stable. No one keyed his most treasured belonging. His parents loved him…noticed when something was wrong with him and spoke to him for reasons other than to yell at him.

And the worst part?

It was that I could at least have had half of those things…if it weren't for the Blonde Bitch on his arm.

I can't say I was completely unaware of the way my foot pressed down on the gas, or how my hands yanked the wheel towards the cute little lovebirds.


End file.
